Kaptain Krayola - pie 2.0

FUCK YOU! (it’s Friday)

Whats better on Fuck You Friday than pies in the face and bikini clad woman? Nothing, that’s what. Except maybe the first two AND beer. So, Fuck you Friday, pies in the face, bikini clad women, and beer. Anything else? Oh yes, sushi. What Fuck you Friday would be complete without sushi? Alright, alright Fuck you Friday, pies in the face, bikini clad women, beer, and sushi. I think that should just about cover it.


But Kaptain, what about insulting the French?

Shit, good point. Insulting the French should be on the list for every day but we’ll double up and insult Frenchies and especially mimes today. Fuck you Friday, pies in the face, bikini clad women, beer, sushi, insulting the French and especially mimes. Today is shaping up to be a pretty busy Fuck You Friday but The Kaptain can handle it.

So, lets get this party started:

It’s definitely a pie in the face and we almost get double points for bikini clad woman. She is in a shower and not wearing much but she isn’t in a bikini - better luck next time we suppose.

The Kaptain will be having sushi for lunch, beer for dinner, he knows a guy who is part French, and you can find all the bikini clad women you want via google search unless you happen to live by a beach in which case you win.

Fuck You Friday - out.

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As a filthy search engine spammer getting banned from places is pretty routine and usually means you are doing something right. So recently eBay banned the Kaptain for what they are calling “Abusing eBay” and said that his account was “acting inconsistently with the letter or spirit of our policies”. What’s really funny is that they give you the option to “appeal” the decision but never tell you exactly what it is you did wrong. It’s kind of hard to appeal a decision when you “don’t know” exactly what it is you did. The Kaptain has a pretty good idea what it was but it could have been one of many things that was “acting inconsistently with the letter or spirit of our policies” so which one do we appeal?

Figuring the account was pretty well toast from the time that email came in, The Kaptain decided to appeal it anyway. After waiting for a few days he got exactly the response he figured he was going to get: “FUCK YOU” and it wasn’t even Friday.

We’ve reviewed your account. At this time, your activity on eBay did not
meet the guidelines of our User Agreement. You can find the reason for
your suspension in the “Abusing eBay” section of the Agreement.

If you’d like to review the eBay User Agreement, please go to:

http://pages.ebay.com/help/community/png-user.html

Based on our current information, your account will remain closed. At
this point, we won’t be able to contact you further or consider ending
your suspension unless you have additional information for us to review.

If you have new information to support your case, please reply to this
email and explain why you believe the information would allow us to
reconsider the situation.

Thank you for your time.

If you think you will get rid of the Kaptain that easily eBay, you can forget it. The Kaptain: thousands, eBay: 1. We’ll be back and with more Pie this time.

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The Kaptain noticed that his theme looked like total crap in IE so he’s screwing with it today. If you get some funky bugs with the site just give me a few minutes and check back. Sorry for the hassle.

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WARNING! This is going to be the most horrific and eye burning post EVER

The Kaptain is having a slow Monday and has the mentality of an 8 year old so he made up a couple horrible emoticons that you can use to harass your friends via instant messenger. Right click the images and “Save As” for hours of retina burning fun!

Thanks to SEOIdiot for the insipiration and for having an equally 8 year old mentality to keep the Kaptain in line.

And

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SEOIdiot loves the Kaptain despite what he wants you to believe. The whole “Arch Nemesis” claim is just to throw everyone off (especially his wife and kids we would imagine). Don’t believe The Kaptain? The proof is HERE and HERE. He thinks about the Kaptain so much that it even invades his phone time and likely his dreams (the Kaptain had better be clothed you sicko). Don’t feel bad my mango loving nemesis - you aren’t the only Idiot that can’t take their mind off the Kaptain.

Friday is fast approaching and the Kaptain will (hopefully) have something extra special for you and your commie, mango eating friends.

Remember kids, just say NO to Mango.

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