Kaptain Krayola - pie 2.0

Pirates kick so much ass that they have successfully kept global warming at bay. Don’t believe the Kaptain? Here is proof:

As everyone knows, everything on the internet is true so heed this warning and start raising your children as pirates TODAY.

pic borrwed from wikipedia

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FUCK YOU! (it’s Friday)

Whats better on Fuck You Friday than pies in the face and bikini clad woman? Nothing, that’s what. Except maybe the first two AND beer. So, Fuck you Friday, pies in the face, bikini clad women, and beer. Anything else? Oh yes, sushi. What Fuck you Friday would be complete without sushi? Alright, alright Fuck you Friday, pies in the face, bikini clad women, beer, and sushi. I think that should just about cover it.


But Kaptain, what about insulting the French?

Shit, good point. Insulting the French should be on the list for every day but we’ll double up and insult Frenchies and especially mimes today. Fuck you Friday, pies in the face, bikini clad women, beer, sushi, insulting the French and especially mimes. Today is shaping up to be a pretty busy Fuck You Friday but The Kaptain can handle it.

So, lets get this party started:

It’s definitely a pie in the face and we almost get double points for bikini clad woman. She is in a shower and not wearing much but she isn’t in a bikini - better luck next time we suppose.

The Kaptain will be having sushi for lunch, beer for dinner, he knows a guy who is part French, and you can find all the bikini clad women you want via google search unless you happen to live by a beach in which case you win.

Fuck You Friday - out.

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As a filthy search engine spammer getting banned from places is pretty routine and usually means you are doing something right. So recently eBay banned the Kaptain for what they are calling “Abusing eBay” and said that his account was “acting inconsistently with the letter or spirit of our policies”. What’s really funny is that they give you the option to “appeal” the decision but never tell you exactly what it is you did wrong. It’s kind of hard to appeal a decision when you “don’t know” exactly what it is you did. The Kaptain has a pretty good idea what it was but it could have been one of many things that was “acting inconsistently with the letter or spirit of our policies” so which one do we appeal?

Figuring the account was pretty well toast from the time that email came in, The Kaptain decided to appeal it anyway. After waiting for a few days he got exactly the response he figured he was going to get: “FUCK YOU” and it wasn’t even Friday.

We’ve reviewed your account. At this time, your activity on eBay did not
meet the guidelines of our User Agreement. You can find the reason for
your suspension in the “Abusing eBay” section of the Agreement.

If you’d like to review the eBay User Agreement, please go to:

http://pages.ebay.com/help/community/png-user.html

Based on our current information, your account will remain closed. At
this point, we won’t be able to contact you further or consider ending
your suspension unless you have additional information for us to review.

If you have new information to support your case, please reply to this
email and explain why you believe the information would allow us to
reconsider the situation.

Thank you for your time.

If you think you will get rid of the Kaptain that easily eBay, you can forget it. The Kaptain: thousands, eBay: 1. We’ll be back and with more Pie this time.

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The Kaptain noticed that his theme looked like total crap in IE so he’s screwing with it today. If you get some funky bugs with the site just give me a few minutes and check back. Sorry for the hassle.

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Yesterday The Kaptain posted his PHP Keyword Creator for the world to enjoy. He got to thinking last night that it might be somewhat helpful to provide you good spammers with some words to use along with it. Since The Kaptain is such a nice guy, he zipped up 141,000 nouns and 31,000 adjectives for your keyword creating pleasure. The files are zipped CSV files so you can parse them however you see fit or import them directly to a database.

Click Here for the Nouns!
Click Here for the Adjectives!

Good luck and stay out of our niches.

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